


Pretend With Me

by SnowyCarnations (CrimsonCarnations)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 19:10:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10748004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonCarnations/pseuds/SnowyCarnations
Summary: Hi, we're really sorry if this isn't exactly what you were hoping for. We tried our best but it kinda got out of hand...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Hi, we're really sorry if this isn't exactly what you were hoping for. We tried our best but it kinda got out of hand...

Alfred smiles at Ivan and sits down with him at the arcade they spend a lot of time in. He listens to the sounds of laughter and games around him before opening his mouth. “You know how we both want to move out of our parents houses? I found this great place, it’s absolutely gorgeous. They are letting people move in right now. There’s only one catch. They only let people who are together in.” Alfred blushes lightly. “I mean, the people wanting to move in have to be in a relationship.” 

Ivan looked over at Alfred and tilted his head. “Really? Is this just a cheesy way of asking me out?” he teased. “Because I’ll gladly go out with you. But you could just ask” he chuckled softly, ruffling Alfred’s hair before turning to look around the arcade a bit. 

Alfred blushes darkly and shakes his head. “Dude… I didn’t even know you swung that way.” He responds. “No, that’s not what I was doing… I mean… I’m straight as far as I know… But they require relationships.” He pulls out the brochure and hands it over, hoping that Ivan was joking since he doesn’t want to have been so insensitive to Ivan. “It’s got pretty cheap rent…” 

Ivan laughed loudly. “I was kidding Alfred. We can pretend to be in a relationship if you want. I don’t really care” Only that he did care. He was glad he was good at covering that up as a joke. He honestly doubted that Alfred was straight and he was upset by it too. But he didn’t say anything about it. 

Alfred smiles in relief and starts to relax. “Dude it would be great. I really think it’s great and we’ve been talking about becoming roommates to get out of our parents’ houses and this place has such a low rent.” His smile morphs to his more characteristic smile as he chatters on and on about the apartments. “We should go visit them today, see if they’re really as nice as they look in the brochure.” 

Ivan nodded. “Sure. Sounds great” he smiled. “Let me know when you want to go. I’m free pretty much all day” he shrugged. “Anything to get out of my house” he chuckled. “Plus being roommates will be tons of fun”

Alfred nods. “Let’s go now. We’ve got nothing better to do.” He stands up and shoves the brochure back in his bag. He smiles and slings it over his shoulder before heading toward the place. The outside is fairly nice, he notes. The flowers and trees are well taken care of. He smiles up at Ivan. “This place is pretty classy looking on the outside, isn’t it?” 

Ivan nodded and chuckled. “Alright sounds good” he stood and followed him, looking around outside. He nodded. “Yeah it looks pretty great from out here” he chuckled. “Let’s just hope it’s nice inside too”

Alfred nods excitedly and steps inside. “Wow honey, I told you, nice.” He starts the act right away when he sees one of the landlords behind the desk. “Hello! We were hoping for a tour of the property.” Alfred snags one of Ivan’s hands and smiles brightly, threading their fingers together. He thinks nothing about it, they’ve been friends for years, he sees nothing weird about it. 

Ivan nodded and shifted a bit. “Yeah, you’re right. It looks nice” he shrugged and looked at their hands, smiling as he laced their fingers together. “Da we would love to see the place. We are hoping to move in together finally” he said in a teasing tone. 

Alfred nods excitedly and turns back to the landlord with a bright smile. The landlord nods and stands up. “My name is Jackson, I own the property.” He holds out his hand for Ivan to shake. Alfred looks around the lobby and is internally excited over how beautiful it is already. “Come this way please. We have a nice apartment available on the second floor.” Alfred grips Ivan’s hand a little tighter and follows Jackson, excitedly pointing out things he likes to Ivan. 

Ivan smiled and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you” He turned and followed him. He looked wherever Alfred point and chuckled, finding it adorable. “It is a very nice place. Outside. I’m very excited to see the apartments” he said as they walked. 

Alfred nods. When Jackson opens the apartment he walks in, looking around. “Wow. It’s so beautiful!” He says happily. “Hey, look, the tv can go there!” He pulls Ivan further into the living room, pointing out where things can go. Jackson watches them with an amused smile on his lips. 

“Are you two newlyweds? You certainly act like it. But you’re not wearing any rings…” Jackson notices. Alfred smiles at him and leans against Ivan gently. 

“Well… We were waiting to move in together before we got married.” Alfred explains, smiling up at Ivan. “But he’s my sweetheart, I just know that we’re going to be happy together.” He gets up on his toes and kisses his cheek to really make the act work. 

Ivan followed him inside and looked around, nodding. “Yes it’s nice. I already told you, you can do all the decorating. I’ll help move it of course” he chuckled. He smiled and looked at Jackson again. “Yes, we hope to be married after we are sure we can live together” he chuckled. He turned pink when Alfred kissed him. “I know it will work too” he whispered. 

Alfred giggles and nods. “I can’t wait to decorate. You talk with him about payment and I’ll look at the rest of the rooms. Don’t forget we put aside a couple month’s rent to pay ahead.” He gives Ivan another kiss on the cheek before walking away. Jackson smiles as he watches Alfred walk away then turns to Ivan. 

“It’s nice to see people so in love with each other.” He whispers. “That’s why I make it so that you have to be together, I think it makes for a more peaceful community, plus everyone is always so in love with each other.” Jackson pulls out some papers. “You have been considering us for a while since you are saving up then?” He flips through the papers in his hands. “So this apartment is to your liking?” 

Ivan smiled at Alfred as he went to look around some more before looking back to Jackson and nodded. “Ah yes. I love him so much” He whispered. “I have for a really long time” he shook himself out of the thought before nodding again. “Well Alfred actually had been. I had just been saying we needed to try living together. He told me about here and I thought we should come look before deciding anything. I do like this apartment though, yes” he smiled.

Jackson nods. “That’s very smart of you two. Well, it’s open for renting, we’d love for you to move in. We have a $50 move in fee, but you can wait to pay it until you fill out the paperwork. When can I expect you back by?” He asks. Alfred peeks his head out from a room and smiles brightly at Ivan. 

“We’ll be back tomorrow with everything we need to pay for the apartment. We’ll move in this week.” He comes back and puts his arms around Ivan again, overjoyed to be moving out of his parents’ house finally, especially since he gets to move in with his best friend. 

Ivan smiled and nodded. “Yes, this week sounds great. As long as everything is ready for us to move in then we will start right away” he said, putting his arm around Alfred’s in return and holding him close. “We can fill out the paperwork today though, right?” he looked at Alfred and tilted his head. 

Jackson sighs softly. “We’d prefer you have the money with you when you sign the paperwork, but we don’t reject you guys from signing it then coming later.” He says then smiles. “You are welcome to come to my office.” He leads them toward the exit then back to the elevator. 

Alfred looks up at Ivan. “I can go get the money.” He follows them out. Once on the bottom floor he takes a soft breath before pulling Ivan into a soft kiss, eyes squeezing shut. He slowly pulls away and smiles at him. “I’ll be right back.” He whispers. He heads outside and toward the nearest bank. 

Ivan nodded and shrugged. “Whichever” he hummed and followed Alfred. He turned red at the kiss and slowly kissed back. He smiled brightly and turned to look at Jackson before calming again. Right, kissing was a thing couples did all the time. He had to act natural about it. 

Jackson leads Ivan to the back and sits down, pulling out the papers. He slides them across the desk to Ivan. “So this is the rules of the apartment. You have a washer and dryer in the apartment, I’m sure your boyfriend… Alfred? Alfred saw them. You can paint the walls if you want, we don’t worry about that. You can replace the fridge, dishwasher, or laundry set but you have to notify us first. You can’t make noise past eleven. You have to notify us before you get an animal and pay a $50 deposit for each animal. If you have any questions about the rules listed, don’t be afraid to ask. If any rules change, you will be notified via mail.” 

Ivan nodded. “Da Alfred. That sounds good” he hummed. “I think Alfred wanted to get a dog. But I am not sure. He’d be the one to talk to you about all of that” He shrugged. He looked over the paperwork a bit before humming. “But just in case he does want a dog, do you have any dog breeds or sizes you don’t allow?” 

“We don’t want pitbulls unless they are well trained. The dog has to be housebroken. Nothing bigger than a german shepherd if you aren’t on the ground floor, which you won’t be.” Jackson responds. He looks up when Alfred comes in with a bright smile, wallet in hand. The blond sits beside Ivan. 

“I have the money.” He grabs the papers and starts to read over them. He likes the rules, and even gets excited when he sees that they accept pets. “Is a golden retriever a good size?” He asks, eyes lighting up. His parents never let him get a dog. He turns his gaze to Ivan, wondering if he’s okay with a dog. 

Ivan nodded. “That sounds acceptable.” he looked up when Alfred came back in and smiled at him. He kissed his cheek when he sat down and hummed. “Well he said nothing bigger than a German. I’d like a golden retriever.” he nodded and looked at Alfred with a smile. 

Alfred smiles at the kiss and reads over the other contracts they need to read and sign. “I can’t wait to move in. This is lovely.” He lays down the papers. He turns to Ivan. “What do you think? Isn’t it just perfect?” He asks. 

Ivan nodded and smiled brightly. “I think it’s wonderful. We will be happy here I am certain” he chuckled. Once Alfred had read it he signed where he needed to. He hoped they were happy here. He hoped that he could actually come clean to Alfred. That wasn’t a joke. But god, Alfred’s reaction worried him slightly. 

Alfred signs where he needs to as well, paying the move in fee and the two months of rent. “We’ll start moving in as soon as possible.” He assures Jackson. Jackson nods, making sure they signed where necessary before putting the money away and marking them as having paid. He stands up and shakes both of their hands with a smile. 

“I’m glad to hear it. Here’s your keys.” He hands over the two apartment keys. “And here’s the key to the mail. And this will open up the parking lot if you have cars.” He hands them the other two items. “You’re welcome to move in at any time. You can even start today.” He tells them and gives another smile. Alfred nods excitedly, holding onto Ivan’s arm gently. He leads Ivan back outside and smiles brightly. 

“We could probably move in the bed tonight.” He tells Ivan, looking up at him. “The master bedroom is big enough for both of our beds, so we can just push them together? Oh that would be so cool, one big giant bed? And it’ll be warm.” Alfred lights up at the thought of that. He looks up at Ivan. “And we can set up a tv in the living room and the bedroom. And our dressers would fit in our room. I have quite a few books, don’t you as well? Those can go in the living room too I guess.” 

Ivan followed him out and nodded. “Yeah that sounds like a good plan. We can put a bookshelf up in the living room. I’ll organize them based on who’s favourites are what so we can pick them up and put them back the same every time” he hummed. “We could just buy a big bed. I don’t know if pushing ours together like that will work.”

Alfred hums in thought. “Well… I don’t have enough money for a bed right now, but I think we can both fit in mine. It’s a queen.” He looks up at Ivan. “But if that’s a problem we could move in both beds until we can get a bigger one.” He doesn’t mind sleeping with Ivan, and he thinks it would probably be better for the two of them. “Oh this is so exciting. I think I have enough for a moving van if we want to do it today. My shit isn’t packed though. I think Mattie will let me use his pickup to move the beds if we want to just move that today.” 

Ivan nodded. “We can probably fit in yours then. There is no reason to buy anything bigger. A king is only a little wider so we may as well just sleep on yours” he chuckled and shrugged. “We can just move the beds since we aren’t ready to move anything else.”

Alfred nods and looks up at him with a smile. “Alright. Let’s head back to my house and I’ll ask Mattie if we can use his pick up and we’ll sleep in our new apartment tonight!” He hugs Ivan tightly then keeps walking, grabbing his friend’s hand and leading him to his house. He gets permission from his brother then grabs the keys. “Alright. It’s gonna be hard to move the bed down the stairs, and I’ll take apart the frame later. Let’s just move the mattress today…” 

Ivan nodded “I don't think it will be that bad. We don't even have to move the box spring which is the heaviest part.” he shrugged and smiled. “However you want” 

Alfred takes the blankets and pillows off his bed then pulls the mattress up until it’s vertical. He pushes it toward Ivan. “Careful going down the stairs. I don’t want you to get hurt.” He warns. Alfred pulls the mattress so that he’s holding most of the weight as they head down the stairs, only letting most of it go against Ivan when he’s off of the stairs. 

Ivan nodded. He lifted the mattress up when Alfred was ready. It honestly didn’t feel all the heavy to him. He shrugged and smiled as he pushed it into Matthew’s truck then waited for Alfred to close it. “Do you need anything else before we go?” he asked. “Maybe some clothes for tomorrow?”

Alfred nods. “Yeah, dude, I’ll be right back.” He closes the back and heads in, packing a bag. He grabs his laptop, pajamas and clothes, and his bathroom stuff. He smiles brightly and heads back out. “Let’s grab some stuff from your place too, yeah?” He asks as he gets in the truck and starts it. 

Ivan nodded. “Yeah we need to get a few things from my house. We can take my lamp too in case the lighting isn’t enough. I want to have a few books as well” he smiled at Alfred and climbed in the truck with him. 

Alfred nods at him and smiles, driving over to Ivan’s house. “I’ll wait outside. Nothing personal, you’re sisters are just overbearing.” He leans his head against the window. He loves Ivan’s sisters like they’re his own, but they’re just too much for him to handle sometimes. 

Ivan hummed. “I understand don’t worry” he chuckled and nodded. “I won’t take long” he assured before heading inside. He got a few things together, grabbed his lamp, and went out to the truck again. He smiled at Alfred. 

Alfred smiles at him. He drives to their new apartment and takes his bag upstairs before coming back to move the mattress. He flops onto it as soon as it’s on the ground in their room, huffing softly. He opens his eyes and smiles happily. “Oh my god. We have our own place! Finally!” He cheers, sitting up. “I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go take Mattie’s truck back. I’ll see if I can’t get a bus back.” 

Ivan nodded. “Alright. Call me if you can’t ride the bus. I’ll figure out a way to get you home” he smiled. “Yeah I’m very glad to finally be out of my family’s house” he smiled. He sat down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. 

Alfred sits up, tossing his arms around him and nuzzling against his back. “I’ll pick up dinner on the way home. What are you thinking?” He asks, letting go and standing up. He pulls out his wallet and checking to see how much he has. He seems to deflate a little bit but keeps the smile and puts it in his pocket. 

Ivan blushed and nodded. “Whatever you want” he shrugged. He shifted. “Do you need any money? You paid for the apartment.” he pulled his wallet out and took some money, handing it to Alfred. “I’ll pay for dinner.” He smiled at him. 

Alfred blushes and looks up at him. “Uh… Yeah I’m kinda broke. It’s no big deal…” He looks at the money and takes it gently. “Oh okay… Thank you Ivan.” He puts the money in his wallet then hugs Ivan tightly again, nuzzling against his chest softly. He’s always liked hugging Ivan, it feels nice 

Ivan hugged Alfred back happily and then hummed. “I’m gonna map out some stuff while you are gone.” He offered. “I’ll see you when you get back, honey” he hummed in a teasing voice and chuckled. “It’s a good thing we’re such close friends.”

Alfred blushes slightly and nods. He smiles at him. “Thanks, babe.” He winks and leans up, kissing his cheek softly. “Yep! Couldn’t avoid that, we’ve been inseparable since we were kids.” He grabs the truck keys. “Okay, I’ll be back soon. I’ll pick up something on the way back and then we can have dinner.” 

Ivan chuckled and nodded. “Alright. Just let me know when you are on your way back him” he waved his hand lazily before standing up to look around the apartment. 

Alfred nods and gives him a peace sign before going downstairs. He gets in Matthew’s truck, driving home then walking back, texting Ivan while he’s waiting for their food. He hums softly and taps his foot, smiling softly. 

Ivan decided where he wanted his things to go. He looked at his phone when it lit up and smiled, texting Alfred back with a smile. 

Alfred heads back when he gets the food, smiling at Ivan as he walks in. Alfred sets the food on the counter. “I hope you don’t mind junk food. Also we don’t have any plates, so we need to be careful.” He pulls out his dinner and starts to eat, leaning against the counter. “We should probably move in this weekend.” 

Ivan shrugged. “That’s fine.” he took the food that Alfred got for him and began to eat it. “Yeah. We can start as soon as possible and get some stuff in. We should be mostly moved in by the end of the weekend since it’s only you and I” he chuckled. 

Alfred nods and smiles happily. “Yeah, I’m glad about that. I’ll make sure to pack pretty quickly, I don’t have that much to pack. Mostly clothes and books. But I want to set up the video games in our room.” He finishes eating and wipes his mouth, looking at Ivan again. 

Ivan nodded. “I don’t have too much either. We can set up the games in our room. As long as you don’t play them too late into the night.” He hummed and finished eating. “Or at least do so with headphones”

Alfred nods. “Will do!” He smiles brightly. “I have a few classes tomorrow, but I’ll pack up when I’m not doing that.” He assures Ivan and puts the trash back into the bag. He stretches his arms over his head. “I’m gonna shower.” He walks away. 

Ivan nodded and smiled. “Alright. I don’t think I have anything tomorrow so I will probably be packing all day. Just let me know if you need any help and I’ll come help you, okay?” he smiled. “Alright. Do we have towels?” 

Alfred nods. “I brought one. You can borrow mine if you want.” He shrugs, grabbing his bag and taking it into the bathroom. He closes the door behind him before taking a quick shower. He dresses afterwards and brushes his teeth before coming out and smiling at Ivan. He is wearing only his pajama pants. 

Ivan nodded. “Thanks” he waved his hand and sat back down on their bed, humming and looking up at the ceiling again. He listened to the sound of the shower and relaxed to it. He enjoyed the sound. He looked up when Alfred walked back out and blushed slightly. He hummed and stood up. “I take my shower now” He shrugged and went into the bathroom quickly. 

Alfred nods then sprawls out on their bed, scrolling through his phone. He had left the sheets on but forgot to grab a blanket. He frowns slightly and looks at the bed before pulling on a sweater, since he’s extremely cold. 

Ivan finished showering and came out. He ran his fingers through his hair and got into his pajamas. “Are you okay? Did you forget to grab a blanket?” He asked. “I can have one of my sisters bring us one if you want. I can’t really sleep in the cold” 

“That would be good. I did forget my blankets in the excitement of moving.” Alfred blushes. “We could also turn on the heat in here, that would help.” He gets up and finds the thermostat, turning it up to a warmer temperature for them. He sighs and lays down again, looking up at Ivan. “I didn’t bring pillows either. I’m bad at this.” 

Ivan nodded and smiled. “Alright. I’ll call my sister and have her bring my blankets and pillows” he chuckled and pulled out his phone, calling his older sister and asking her to bring said things, giving her the address and thanking her. 

Alfred nods and smiles at him. He pulls Ivan down next to him and snuggles close for warmth, closing his eyes. “Wow, you’re super warm.” He mumbles and smiles happily. “Thanks for doing this with me, Ivan. I know that it might be a bit weird to be pretending to be together, but I’m really glad to have such a good friend in you.” He whispers, nuzzling against him. 

Ivan blushed deeply and laid down with him. He looked at Alfred and tilted his head before shrugging. “We are best friends. It’s not like we don’t already act like we are together” he chuckled and looked away a bit. He relaxed himself so that his blush would fade away. 

Alfred looks up at him. “Can I ask you to do something for me? Can I kiss you? I’ve never really kissed a guy before and I… I’m not really sure I’m straight, but I’m also not sure I’m gay. Maybe, maybe I’m bi or something? Can I kiss you though?” He asks, cupping Ivan’s cheek softly. 

Ivan shifted uncomfortably. “I...I...guess so” he whispered. “If you really want to that badly” he turned bright red. “Maybe you are. You never know until you try” he whispered. It was honestly upsetting to think about. He wanted to kiss Alfred. He wanted to really kiss Alfred. Not so he could test his sexuality. 

Alfred looks at him then turns light red. “You’re uncomfortable. I’m sorry. Nevermind, I don’t want you to feel like you have to.” He lets go of Ivan and then gives him a smile, curling up against him. He’s stopped shivering but he still wants a blanket. 

Ivan shook his head. “Nah I’m not uncomfortable” he blushed, shifting a bit. “It’s really up to you. My sister will be here soon with pillows and blankets. Then we can go to sleep if you want’ He whispered. 

Alfred looks up at him again, leaning upwards. His bright blue eyes are locked on Ivan’s lips, but they flick over Ivan’s face once to make sure he’s okay. Alfred closes his eyes as he presses his lips to Ivan’s. He cups Ivan’s cheeks softly, smiling slightly into his lips. 

Ivan looked at Alfred and started to blush intensely. It was then he was starting to realize how incredibly hard this was going to be. He shifted but started to kiss Alfred back, putting his arms around him slightly. 

Alfred slowly pulls away from his lips, snuggling into Ivan and his warmth. “Wow… That felt different than anything I’ve ever done.” He whispers, pressing his face into his friend’s chest. “Thank you for letting me do that.” He relaxes into his arms and starts to drift off like that, exhausted from the day he’s had. 

Ivan held onto him and nodded. “Yeah of course” he whispered. He looked up when he heard a knock and slowly moved Alfred off of him. He thanked his sister and hugged her before going back inside. He laid Alfred’s head on a pillow, covered him up then crawled into the bed with him, nuzzling into him.


	2. Chapter 2

Alfred snuggles into him when he returns, waking for only a few seconds before going to sleep again. He’s comfortable with the warmth, and he manages to sleep through the night. The next morning he ruffles Ivan’s hair before starting to leave. “See you later.” He calls softly, heading out to go to one of his classes. 

Ivan woke up and looked up at him, yawning and nodding. “Ah bye, see you soon” he got up made breakfast for himself, running his fingers through his hair. He reached up and touched his lips, sighing softly. 

Alfred packs between classes. He sighs softly as he hauls everything to his brother’s truck and takes it back to the apartment. It’s tiring work, and he only gets about half of his room done before dinner time. Alfred comes to the apartment with his last box and then closes the door. “Honey, I’m home!” He calls jokingly. 

Ivan had gotten all his things in at some point during the day. He sighed as he began to unpack. he looked up when Alfred came in and rolled his eyes. “Ah did you get everything?” he asked.   
Alfred looks up at him then shakes his head. “No, a lot of my books and videogames are at my house still. And my desk. Anything I couldn’t fit in Mattie’s truck in those last couple trips.” He sighs. “But, I’ll finish tomorrow. Everything is packed, but not moved, thank goodness.” He smiles at Ivan and starts to unpack as well, making their bed frame and putting the entire bed together. He makes the bed as well. 

Ivan nodded. “Ah well at least it’s all packed” he shrugged and smiled a bit. He set up their living room and put his things from the kitchen away. He didn’t have too much. But hopefully with his and Alfred’s things combined it would be enough to get by until they could go shopping. 

Alfred helps him. He smiles softly. “Do you think that we should just get a couple sets of tupperware and plates and stuff?” He asks, before moving to put the extra sheets and towels in the hall closet. He finds the washer and dryer, then smiles brightly, starting a load of laundry as well. “So… What do you want for dinner?” 

Ivan nodded. “I think so. But we don’t have to worry about that right now. We can just order something if you want. I don’t really think we have anything we can make. So we may as well just order something. I can pay again since you still did pay for the whole apartment’s deposit and such” 

Alfred shrugs. “Alright, then order whatever.” He smiles brilliantly. “Whatever you want to do, Evie.” He had given the other then name when they were younger and Alfred was unable to grasp the pronunciation ‘e-van’. He grabs another box and starts to put books on another shelf, sticking to the organization that Ivan used. 

Ivan nodded, chuckling a bit and grabbing his phone. He ordered them something simple and told the man the address before continuing to unpack. He looked at Alfred. “I hope that was alright. They were relatively close” he shrugged. 

Alfred nods. “I don’t care. Anything fine. You know me.” He hums cheerfully and smiles at Ivan. “Thanks again for doing this with me.” He suddenly remembers the comment that Ivan made at the arcade then blushes darkly. “Hey, Evie?” He asks, wanting his friends attention. “Can I ask you a question?” 

Ivan nodded. “Alright cool.” he chuckled and tilted his head. “Of course” He smiled and shrugged. “What’s up? You don’t have to ask to ask a question. Just go ahead and ask” he chuckled and shifted a bit, moving something to plug in a few things. 

Alfred nods again. “It’s just kinda personal. I wanted to know how you feel about me?” He looks over at him. “Because I think I might have some real feelings for you and um…” He blushes darkly, but looks down at what he’s doing again. He is slightly embarrassed but he wants Ivan to know. 

Ivan made a face. “Is this about what I said earlier? Like is this some kind of joke? I mean I actually genuinely like you and your reaction scared me so I made it a joke. You kissed me and it was amazing but it was incredibly hard. Now you’re just going to tease me more?” he growled. 

Alfred’s eyes widen. He looks up at Ivan. “It is about what you said earlier. It’s not a joke, I think I have feelings for you. I felt it when I kissed you.” He says it in a small voice. He’s scared about what Ivan is saying, and the way he’s saying it. Ivan has never spoken to him with that voice. He looks down, tears welling into his eyes. “I don’t know why you’re upset.” He whimpers, grabbing his coat. 

Ivan looked confused. He clenched his fists and turned his head for a moment. “I love you. I have for a really long time. I don’t want this to be a joke. It hurts. It hurts to pretend like this with you” he whispered. He backed up slightly. “I want to be with you. So fucking badly. But I...i don’t understand how one kiss makes you change your mind.” 

Alfred hugs his jacket to his chest. “Just because I said that I was straight doesn’t mean I was. The kiss confirmed for me how I feel.” He says quietly. “And I thought I could tell you, but you’re getting mad at me just like I thought you were going to.” Alfred pulls his jacket on. He turns his back on Ivan. “Fucking… Just… I’m leaving.” He slams the door shut behind him then walks down the stairs. He curls up with his face in his knees in one of the corners of the stairs and cries softly, not really knowing why Ivan is so upset with him. 

Ivan realized after Alfred left that he was angry over something stupid. Alfred...Alfred loved him back? Tears started to build up in his eyes and he moved towards the door then backed away again then grabbed his coat and opened the door, putting it on as he started to walk towards the stairs. He called out for Alfred a few times. 

Alfred doesn’t hear him. He feels like crap. Alfred looks up when the door to the stairs open and then back down. He assumed Ivan didn’t come after him, since he usually didn’t when they fought in the past. Alfred sniffles and wipes at his cheeks with his sleeve. When he sees that it’s Ivan he stands up quickly. “Leave me alone.” He snaps. 

Ivan moved a bit closer to him but stopped when he snapped. “Alfred...wait a second and listen to me please” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have gotten mad. I’m sorry. I do love you. I do. I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave. Even if it’s just as friends, I never want to lose you because you mean so much to me. I love you so much and I can’t see you upset like this” He took a step towards him again. “I shouldn’t have gotten upset anyway. You love me back. Or you at least have feelings leaning that way and I should be happy. I am happy. Please” 

Alfred flinches slightly and stops walking, but doesn’t turn to look at him. He listens to what Ivan has to say then turns to him. “I… I’ve wanted to talk to you about the feelings I’ve had for a while but I was so scared to, then you did everything I thought you were going to. This is so pathetic.” He whimpers, tears pouring off his cheeks. “I want… I want you to leave me alone for a little bit, do you hear me? I’ll come back to the house a little later, I want some time to calm down on my own.” Usually he’d go to Ivan when he wanted to calm down, since they’ve been friends for so long, but now he wants to talk to his brother. Matthew usually has the answers. 

Ivan listened to him and looked down sadly. He nodded. “o-okay...I’m sorry” he whispered again before turning around and going back up to their apartment. He sat down on the bed and held his arms for a moment. He decided to take a shower before just curling up to go to sleep. He put the food directly in the fridge when it got there, his appetite gone, and once again went to lay down. 

Alfred comes back in the dead of night and curls up in bed with Ivan, arms wrapped around his friend. He nuzzles into his back and starts to drift off to sleep, completely calm now. He hopes that Ivan is okay, he hates that he caused his friend such grief. “I’m sorry for ditching you like that. I wasn’t really ready to talk. I hope we can talk more tomorrow, and this time be calm about it.” He whispers, not sure if Ivan can hear him, if Ivan is even awake anymore. He closes his eyes and starts to drift to sleep. 

Ivan shifted when he felt Alfred’s arms around him. He turned his head but rolled back over and went right back to sleep. He heard part of what Alfred said, but didn’t respond. He felt terrible. He didn’t mean to hurt Alfred. He didn’t want to hurt him.

The next morning Alfred waits for Ivan to wake up, slightly tense. He knows they have to talk about the night before, but he doesn’t want it to escalate into another screaming match. He had spoken with Jackson a few minutes before to assure him that it was just a misunderstanding between them, but they’re still very much together. He takes a deep breath and looks over at Ivan again. 

Ivan woke up and stretched he turned over and looked at Alfred, sitting up and wiping his eyes. “I want to wash my face before we say anything about last night” he said with a slightly shaky tone before standing up and going into the bathroom. He did just that, wiping his face up and looking at himself in the mirror. He had to remain calm. He loved Alfred. Alfred wanted to try this. He had to remain calm. 

Alfred looks at him and nods. He is shaking lightly as he waits. He pats the bed beside him when Ivan comes back. “I’m sorry for running out like that. I… I didn’t know what to do. I want to try to have a real relationship with you.” He whispers. “And maybe even marry you and have our dog and stuff. That would be really nice, but I mean, if it doesn’t happen it doesn’t happen.” 

Ivan sat down next to him and pulled his legs up to cross them in front of him and sit criss-cross. He listened to Alfred and waited for a moment. “I’m sorry for getting angry with you last night. I should not have gotten angry and it was a ridiculous thing to yell about. I would like to have a real relationship with you. That sounds nice.” he whispered. “As long as that is what you want” 

Alfred looks up at him and smiles softly. He nods and hugs him tightly around the middle. “Let’s try this, okay?” He asks softly, looking up at him. He leans in and presses his lips to Ivan’s again. “I forgive you. I overreacted too. I think… I think it was pretty charged already.” He smiles softly and cups his cheeks softly. 

Ivan blushed and kissed him back gently. He pulled Alfred into a tighter hug. “Okay. Let’s just forget about yesterday and we’ll try to be together and it will hopefully work out” he whispered, nuzzling against Alfred.

Alfred blushes softly and nuzzles back. “I’ll be back in a little while. I have to finish getting my stuff.” He puts his shoes on and heads out, grabbing his stuff and loading it into his parents car, since his brother is at class. He sighs softly as he finishes packing the boxes into the car and then drives it to their apartment. He’s gotten the rest of his stuff. 

Ivan nodded. He stood again and got breakfast before deciding to finish with all his unpacking. He helped Alfred bring stuff in once he got back, deciding that would ease the boredom he had. There wasn’t a whole lot to do yet since not everything was set up. 

Alfred thanks him, then drives his parents’ car back home. He thinks on his way back, sighing softly. He sets up his tv in their bedroom and plays a few video games when he gets a break, button mashing when nothing else works. He looks at Ivan for a few moments before getting back to what he was doing. He doesn’t feel any different now that they’re dating. 

Ivan sat down next to him while he played and just watched, not really sure what he was doing, but enjoying his company, like whenever he watched Alfred play the video games. He hummed and grabbed a book, starting to read that. He looked at Alfred. “Let me know if you need help at all okay?” 

Alfred nods and smiles at him. “I’m no good at this game, but you wouldn’t be able to help anyway, silly.” He finishes the level and leans on Ivan slightly, getting more into the game the longer he is playing. 

Ivan shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try to help you” he chuckled and went back to reading his book, smiling towards Alfred. 

Alfred snickers and snuggles closer. A few weeks later, Alfred is doing his finals and getting extremely stressed out. He is trying to study when he passes out on his books, dark circles under his eyes. 

Ivan pulled Alfred into his arms and carried him to the room. He laid him down then laid with him. He wrapped his arms around him and kissed his head. “I love you.” he whispered. 

Alfred wakes up the next morning and looks around groggily. He looks at his clock and then starts to panic. “I’m late! Holy shit I’m late, I’m gonna be failed for this.” He desperately starts to get ready, not even bothering with showering. He dashes out to the bus, sobbing softly in panic. 

Ivan sat straight up and looked at him. “What? Are you okay?” he asked, relaxing and shaking his head. “You’re going to be okay, I’m sure” he whispered before falling back onto the bed and curling up, not really awake enough to comprehend it. 

Alfred gets to school and takes the test, though his teacher marks him down for coming so late. He comes back home shaking and crying, sure he failed the test. He curls up on the couch, running his hands through his hair, sniffling softly and sobbing into his knees. He just wants to be alone, he’d worked so hard to finish that course and now he’s probably not going to pass. 

Ivan went out into the living room and tilted his head. He paused for a moment and wondered if he should give Alfred time to calm down or if he should say something. “Alfred?” he asked, deciding to ask instead. “Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it? Or I can leave you alone” 

Alfred looks up at him. “Go away.” he sniffles, wiping his tears away quickly. He looks down at the table in front of the couch, curling up tighter. He stays there for a few minutes before standing up. “I’m going out to drink!” He shouts to Ivan, not sure where he is in the house then puts on his shoes and leaves. 

Ivan sighed and nodded. He went into the room and started to read again. He looked up when he heard Alfred shout. He stood up and went out to watch him leave. He was worried about him going out. But he had to keep himself in a good mood. He didn’t want to start worrying himself over everything. He trusted Alfred 

Alfred gets trashed. He comes home, a bottle of beer in his hand, and comes into the bedroom. “Ivaaaaaan.” He whines, putting the beer next to the bed but accidentally tipping it over. He climbs into bed with him and nuzzles against his neck. “I’m sorry I’ve been weird lately. I’ve been stressed about school, but there’s a question I’ve been meaning to ask.” His words are slurring. He stands up and fumbles with his drawer before pulling out a small box. “Will you… Marry me?” He hiccups halfway through the sentence before stumbling toward him and flops into the bed with him, holding out the box. 

Ivan looked up when Alfred called out to him. He sighed and moved so he could get in easier. “Don’t apologise.” he tilted his head and shifted. “What…? Oh goodness Alfred. I mean I would love to marry you. Of course. Are you sure you aren’t too drunk for this? Maybe you should rest?” Alfred had the ring. This had to be real. He turned bright red at the thought and pulled Alfred into a hug. “I want to marry you, of course” 

Alfred smiles and giggles. “Yay!” He kisses Ivan softly and fumbles with pulling the ring from the box and putting it on Ivan’s finger, trying to steady his hands to put it on him. “Thank you.” He slurs out before snuggling into Ivan and goes to sleep. He wakes up with a massive hangover the next morning and whimpers softly, going further under the blankets. “Holy shit.” His throat feels raw. “Ivan, baby, what happened yesterday?” He asks as quietly as he can manage, pressing against the warmth. 

Ivan smiled at him, kissing his cheek and pulling him to his chest. He looked over at Alfred in the morning and smiled at him. “I knew you were too drunk to know what you were doing. But you proposed to me. I said yes. But I understand if you weren’t ready to actually ask me” he whispered, holding him close. 

Alfred looks up at him, trying to get his mind to work long enough to understand him. He leans his head on Ivan’s shoulder gently. “I was ready, just nervous. I was having trouble asking, because I was scared. But I did want to get married to you.” He assures Ivan. He looks up at him, rubbing his eye. His head is still throbbing. “Holy shit I’m in so much pain. Can you get me some painkillers?” He asks softly. 

Ivan nodded. “Okay. I want to marry you too. I'm glad” he smiled down at him and kissed his cheek before climbing out of bed. He went into the kitchen and made Alfred some toast, got him some water, and brought him the pain meds. 

Alfred thanks him and takes the medication before starting to nibble at the toast. He looks at Ivan. “Can I wear a dress?” He asks curiously, thinking it would be fun. “I mean, I could totally wear white.” He blushes softly at that. 

Ivan tilted his head and shrugged. “I mean if you really want to I’m not gonna stop you” he chuckled and sat down next to him again. “We could always change that” he said in a slightly teasing tone. He kissed his cheek and smiled. “Of course we’d never do it if you didn’t want it” 

Alfred blushes even harder. “Oh… Well, I guess I never really thought about it. We could, if you help me through it. I know how straight sex works, but that seems kinda painful.” He shifts awkwardly. “I’m okay with trying it though.” He tells Ivan and looks up at him. “Just slowly. And not right now because my head is throbbing.” 

Ivan shrugged and smiled. “I could help you if you want to. WE can try. If you don’t like it we’ll stop. And of course not right now. Having a hangover while you have sex is not going to end well, I’m sure” he chuckled and kissed his cheek. 

Alfred nods. A few hours later he looks at Ivan. “The test I did yesterday was my last one. So I’m free all summer.” He blushes softly. “So we could go to the store? And get the stuff?” He offers and looks at his lap. He is awkward about it. He kisses Ivan softly on the lips. 

Ivan looked at him and nodded, smiling and kissed his nose. “Alright we’ll go then” he chuckled, kissing him back and standing up. He pulled him to his feet. “You’ll want to get into different clothes” he chuckled. 

Alfred nods and changes into clean clothes. He runs a hand through his hair and makes a face at how gross it feels to the touch. “I’m going to shower when we get back.” He grabs his keys and pushes his feet into his shoes. “So can we just get what we need at the grocery store, or do we have to go to one of… those… shops?” He asks softly, blushing darkly. 

Ivan nodded and grabbed his hands. “We don’t have to go anywhere special. I have some condoms so we just need to go get lube which you can get in most store” he assured. He kissed his cheek. “Shops are for personal things or experimental things usually” he chuckled. 

Alfred nods a bit. “Okay…” He looks up at Ivan and kisses him softly again before heading downstairs and to the closest store. He gets a small container of lube, and then comes back. He showers quickly when they get home, scrubbing his hair to get the filth out of it. He’s slightly nervous as well, if he’s telling the truth. 

Ivan went with him to the store, helping him pick out the right stuff. He smiled at him Ivan and walked him with him. He sat down on the bed and waited patiently for Alfred to take a shower. He was happy to be with Alfred, to be engaged to Alfred, and to be even considering something that intimate. 

Alfred gets out of the shower and comes into the room in just a towel, blushing softly. “Okay… I’m ready to try this out.” he assures Ivan. A while later, Alfred is laying on the bed, sweaty and blushing darkly. “Wow… That was… That was amazing.” He mumbles, snuggling into his fiance. 

Ivan nodded and smirked at him. He hummed proudly. “Well I’m glad your first time was amazing then” he chuckled, ruffling his hair then pulling him close and snuggling with him. 

Alfred presses his face against his chest. “So I guess I can’t wear white and have it be true then.” He smiles. “That’s fine. I like light blue better anyways. I’ll go see if I want to wear a dress or a tux. The theme should be light blue and your favourite colour.” 

Ivan chuckled and rubbed his back. “Whatever works for you. I’ll probably wear black. Or whatever I’ll wear whatever you want me to” he chuckled. “Purple is my favourite colour. So that’s what I want to be the other colour” 

“Okay.” Alfred blushes softly and stands up, getting dressed. “But right now I’m extremely hungry.” He tells Ivan and heads to the kitchen, pulling out some ramen and making it. “My body hurts.” He whines. 

Ivan nodded. “Do you want to make something or call for something?” he asked. “Or I can go get something, whichever you prefer.” He shrugged. He chuckled and kissed his cheek. “I suppose Ramen works as well” he chuckled. “Yeah it will probably feel sore for a while” He laughed softly. 

Alfred blushes softly. “Shoosh. I’m okay.” He huffs. “I’m making ramen.” He sits down at the table with the food. He wraps the noodles around the fork and blows on it before taking a bite and wincing at the burning on his tongue. 

Ivan chuckled and ruffled his hair. He crossed his arms. “You’d avoid burning your tongue if you slowed down” He teased, sitting across from him and smiling over at him. “You’ll also avoid it if you wait for it to cool” He chuckled. 

Alfred pouts at him, taking another bite. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, huffing slightly and finishing his food. “I really want a hamburger.” He whines softly, leaning his cheek on the table. “Ivaaaaaaan.” Alfred gives him a puppy eyed look. 

Ivan chuckled. “Okay Okay, I’ll get you a hamburger” He laughed softly and kissed his cheek before turning and heading towards the door. He hummed in thought before heading to a restaurant to get him a hamburger. 

Alfred smiles brightly and thanks him, kissing his cheek in return. He moves around the apartment, picking up slightly. He sighs softly. Neither of them like to live in a messy environment, but Alfred usually doesn’t have the time or the willpower to clean and leaves it to Ivan. He washes the dishes and puts them in the dishwasher. 

Ivan came back with food for both of them. He set their food on the table and smiled. “Alfred! Food time!” he called out, sitting down and humming softly. 

Alfred smiles happily. He goes and eats happily. “Wow that was good!” In the days follow, Alfred is very happy due to their pending marriage. He’s standing in line at his bank waiting to deposit his check when suddenly he hears shooting sounds. He turns to look at the person before he even feels what actually happened. Red is blossoming across his chest. 

Ivan chuckled. “I’m glad you liked it” He shrugged. He was at home when it happened. He hadn’t even known yet. It wasn’t until he got a phone call from the hospital that he found his heart sinking in his chest and tears building up in his eyes. “Alfred” he whispered. 

Alfred had lasted very little time after he was shot. He was announced DOA, though the hospital called to let Ivan know they had Alfred’s body in the morgue. Alfred’s parents were also notified. 

Ivan made his way to the hospital as quickly as he could. He didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to believe that Alfred was dead. His face was red with tears and he was trembling. He couldn’t even clearly stutter out that he was looking for Alfred when he got there.

One of the workers take sympathy and brings Ivan down to show him Alfred. “We can’t sign his body to you, we have to have one of his parents in order to do that.” He informs Ivan. “I am very sorry for your loss.” He sighs deeply. 

Ivan was trembling, sobbing, and it all got worse when he got down to him. He held his arms and pulled them into his chest. “I-I...I...o-okay...th-thank you” he whimpered through his tears, looking away from Alfred. 

Alfred mom shows up minutes later. She gives them the name of the funeral parlour that she wants Alfred taken care of at. “Ivan, honey, do you want to come to our home tonight?” She asks, face drawn tight with grief. 

Ivan looked at her and sniffled. He wiped his eyes and nodded. “If that’s okay” he whispered. “I would prefer that over going home”


End file.
